Porn is a particularly difficult breed of entertainment to quantify: can a porn film be critiqued as more than just a vessel of sexual fantasy? Ought it be judged merely on the quality of its sex scenes, or can such topics as cinematography, acting, and (dare I say) plot make into the conversation? I have one particular film in mind.
pirates the movie porn
Irony #2: A casting call for the upcoming fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie, On Stranger Tides, went out of its way to ban women with implants: A restriction which presumably would have knocked out many of the stars of the other Pirates. Must be 5ft7in-5ft8in, size 4 or 6, no bigger or smaller. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. Must have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants.
Reviewers are decimating the movie, which currently sports a 14 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The film, which is getting a jump on the weekend by opening Thursday, could earn $40 million for the five days, although Paramount is being more conservative in suggesting the low $30 million range.
Things proceed noisily from here, as the pursuit of the Trident attracts the attention of old Captain Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), who was practically choking on riches before Salazar escaped the Devil's Triangle and started killing all the pirates he found. Whether he's on Sparrow's side or not is always in question. But Rush will wind up the focus of one of the picture's more satisfying set-pieces, a fantastical escape evoking everything from The Ten Commandments to the endearingly cheesy blacklight decorations that turn cheap amusement-park attractions into spooky realms of mystery. However manipulative this climactic sequence may be, you can see how it might convince a better-than-this thespian to believe he can have some fun while earning that gigantic paycheck. As for what might draw Bloom and, briefly, Knightley back to the screen, doing nothing other than linking the first few movies to the ones Disney hopes will come? See the aforementioned paycheck.
Today is my last day in Texas. I\u2019ll be on planes for much of it, so I have no idea what tomorrow\u2019s newsletter will look like. As for today: there were a ton of suspensions arising out of that Mariners-Angels donnybrook, the Royals made a trade to make room for a prospect, we learned that you can\u2019t wear a shirt with the word \u201Cporn\u201D on it at \u2026
Prosecutors in Taiwan have indicted five men for running an operation that uploaded movies to the internet and then extorted cash settlements from the BitTorrent users who downloaded them. One of the men is former ultramarathon runner Kevin Lin, who founded a copyright consultancy company after graduating from law school in 2020.
If true, the scheme spanned 18 movie titles. Not content to wait for the films to actually be pirated, Lin is accused of uploading the films. If that is the case, then obviously this is not piracy. The rightsholder appears to have released these films on torrent sites. Anyone downloading them would simply be taking what the rightsholder freely gave, and therefore licensed.
This duckbilled platypus of a movie is ungainly and slapped together, but giddy good fun to behold. The grownup stars include Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle, William Hurt, Hope Davis, Marisa Tomei and Alfre Woodard. FULL REVIEW
This slam-bang buddy-cop flick harks back to the best of them (think Lethal Weapon or 48 Hrs.). In 1977 L.A., Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling are mismatched detectives searching for an MIA porn star. The jokes are just one form of the rapid-fire killers here. FULL REVIEW
Luis Guzmán and Edgar Garcia are fun as a pair of NYPD cops dispatched to the City of Light to nab some fashion pirates. It would have been more fun if the guys had brought along their costars, Rosie Perez and Rosario Dawson, who are wasted as their better halves back home in Noo Yawk.
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The Popular Book Centre in Greenwich was presided over by a gimlet-eyed man with black fingernails and the complexion of an old haddock. He looked as though he had been cast to play a lecherous plumber in a porn movie. The great thing about the shop was that I could always find something rare and wonderful lurking in the racks, and as everything was 1/6d I could afford to take a chance on the dodgiest-looking books.
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